1.) At the movies:
When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .....
Stupid Question :- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer :- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
2.) In the bus:
A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question :- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer :- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.
3.) At a funeral:
One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question :- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer :- Why? Would it rather have been you?
4.) At a restaurant:
When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question :- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good??
Answer :- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
5.) At a family get-together:
When some distant aunt meets you after years
Stupid Question :- O.M.G, you've become so big.
Answer :- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6.) When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question :- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7.) When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question :- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer :- No. I was doing research on whether the FIDA members are married or
not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.
8.) When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question :- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer :- No, its a skin disease and I'm shedding.... ..
9.) At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question :- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer :- No it wont. It will just bleed.
10.) You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks...
Stupid Question :- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer :- Gosh, it's a miracle ...........it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!