The other night I was invited out for a night with "the guys." I told my wife that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my wife would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with her. Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos (MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her "Midnight". She didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
Then she said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked her why, she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh. shit!", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted!"